Don’t take anything personally

Posted on March 25, 2010


I started to write a post about letting go but it transformed into something else. And since this is one of my first blog entries it’s more than appropriate. It goes back to my first days of building up awareness within. Shout out right here to Trish, a truly light and beautiful spirit my world has been blessed with. She came into my life when I was a freshman in high school (throwback!). She shared with me one of the most influential books I’ve ever read. Don Miguel Ruiz’ “The Four Agreements”
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don’t take anything personally
3. Don’t make assumptions
4. Always do your best

Since I was in high school at the time, I connected most with the 2nd agreement. My junior high experience was consumed with gossip and negativity. It continued into my freshman year. You know, “badass bitches” pulling mean girl moves. There were a lot of terrible emotional currents running through me. This agreement helped bring peace to some of those elements. Today I don’t care very much about what people think about me, at least in relation to my past. I think far too many people make that statement without actually reflecting on how deep their attachment to self-judgment and judgment from others go. Releasing yourself from the bonds of those judgments may be easier if you understand the utter and complete insignificance of believing anything anybody does or says concerns you.

First we have to acknowledge that everything we perceive comes from a place in our head. Everything we experience is a dream. And that is beautiful, except that most of our dreams are full of so much pain, suffering, and lack of true fulfillment. When this is our dream, this is what we project… and whoever is in our path is subject to our wrath.

Why is everything a dream? Think of life like a big movie theater with lots of different movies playing. Go into the theater playing your film. You see everything through your perspective. There is your mother, best friend, favorite teacher, the guy who sells you milk, everything. This is you witnessing the world. Everything makes sense to you, after all, it’s your film.

Now go into the next theater– it’s your moms film. Take a seat next to her (she’s absorbed, she won’t notice). Look how different this movie is… nothing is portrayed the same. You think “No mom, that’s not what I meant.. that’s not how I see it.” You don’t even recognize yourself here- you’re just a character in someone else’s film. And notice how different her character appears from the version in your film. Completely different because she is witnessing the world from her perspective, a unique view made of every experience and idea she has ever had.

You go into all the theaters and realize that even though the movements and images are the same, each film is so entirely different. Our experience in our body is just like a story and nobody perceives you the way you want them to. Our stories are just relative truth, because what is true for us is not true for anybody else. Whatever people think about you is really about the image they have of you and now you see how that image is not you. The only thing we know about other people is what we believe about them. This is probably why there is so much conflict between us! The world is populated by billions of dreamers who aren’t aware that people are living in their own world, dreaming their own dream.

A common example of how we take things personally in relationships. You’re partner cheats on you. You think of a million reasons why and persecute both of you over and over. The truth is, why would you spend any energy on something that has nothing to do with you? Whatever creation is expressed from their physical body is a product of their film, their dream. You are not YOU in that film. They see the image, they don’t see you…

You are not convinced. You say, “but I feel sad! How could it have nothing to do with me? I’m his partner! We share that bond together, we share our lives..”

You can choose the suffering. You can choose to feel sadness and anger and pain. You can choose to feel bad for yourself because of things that happened. Or you can acknowledge the pureness of who you are and how untouchable that is. How nothing anybody does or says will ever effect it.

When we take things personally, we are wrongly assuming others share the film that screens through our conscious. Nobody shares that. We can share experiences, but your film is between you and the universe. We can share divinity. We can share love. But there is nothing else worth sharing. So release it all and smile. You’re free.

Don Miguel Ruiz
You are just here to be, for no reason. You have no mission except to enjoy life, to be happy. The only thing you need is just to be the real you. Be authentic. Be the presence. Be happiness. Be love. Be joy. Be yourself; that’s the main point. That’s wisdom.

Posted in: Uncategorized